The Importance of Assertiveness
Are you wondering what’s the importance of assertiveness at the workplace and in the communication?
If you answered yes, we might have an answer.
Having an assertive behavior holds great importance in human relations.
Before we move on to the reasons why assertiveness is essential and to the ways you can improve this social skill, we need to have a definition in mind for it.
Definition of assertiveness
What is the defidition of assertiveness?
Some people like to describe assertiveness as the middle ground between being too aggressive and being too passive with people. By being assertive, you have to know your wants and needs. You have to be clear, honest, and direct with other people.
An important aspect of assertiveness is politeness and non-aggressiveness. Assertive people are not pissed people, neither want to pick a fight with someone.
By being assertive, you are communicating your thoughts and feelings, whether positive or negative, to solve a problematic situation in a win-win way.
As an assertive person, you calmly stand up for your rights or those of another person, all while being positive, non-aggressive.
An assertive person is by no means a submissive person who passively accepts what is thrown to him by others.
Assertiveness is considered, by psychologists and psychotherapists, to be a skill that can be learned and practiced. We will talk more about this below.
Benefits and importance of assertiveness
So what is the importance of assertiveness, and how does it benefit one’s social life?
Being assertive is a very important quality someone can have. It’ll improve all your relationships as you fully respect other people’s feelings and opinions, while you’re being direct with what you need, want, or deserve.
Furthermore, another benefit of assertiveness is the ability to recognize and accept your feelings calmly.
Knowing what you are feeling and why, makes it way easier for someone to be genuine as a person, initially to himself but to others as well.
Lastly, another critical aspect of being assertive is respect. A person who is good at communicating with others puts himself in their shoes and is trying to find common ground while making a decision in order to create a win-win situation is always respected.
In that regard, assertiveness can be a convenient trait to have when it comes to jobs and career success.
Nowadays, corporations are always looking for assertive individuals who will contribute to the growth of the business with their communication, decision-making, and problem-solving skills.
How to improve assertive behaviour
As we mentioned above, assertiveness is considered to be a learnable skill by psychology professionals.
To learn such traits, what you have to do is to incorporate certain behaviors until they become a subconscious response.
Some of these behaviors which can be incorporated in your everyday life are:
- Value your rights. You need to be adamant about having fundamental rights and be sure about your viewpoints about things. Always stand up for your rights, not in an aggressive manner but with politeness.
You should communicate your needs and wants confidently. Always remember the importance of asking what you want with confidence and politeness. Remember, if you don’t ask for what you want you will never get it
- Do not try to control the behavior of other people. Being assertive is not about throwing your wants on other people and demanding to have whatever you want. Stop trying to dominate others and stop others from dominating you. It would be best if you allowed people to enjoy their freedom, and do the same for yourself.
- Be around people in a positive manner. Being assertive makes it enjoyable for other people to be around you; this can go the other way. If you are positive around others, it will be easier for you to be assertive. Assertiveness exists when someone is sure about himself, what he wants, and what he feels. If you are assertive, you are enjoying your life, and you strive for the best; thus, you are an enjoyable company. Remember that the importance of assertiveness is to communicate with others so that everyone gets what he wants more or less.
- Always be open to criticism. Regardless of it being positive or negative, criticism should be taken in a good way by an assertive person.
We, humans, love to hear positive feedback on ourselves; however, when somebody gives us negative feedback, we close in on ourselves and deep down rarely accept it.
An assertive person is someone who communicates and listens to find the best course of action for everyone’s benefit and do that it is vital to take into consideration the criticism of others.
- Learn to say no. Although saying no when you don’t want to do something sounds like a no brainer, this is hardly the case. Most people are saying yes to people and accept doing things that they don’t want to please someone or avoid stressful situations.
In reality, though, being condescending does more harm than good in the long term. As we have already mentioned a couple of times, being assertive is all about honest communication and saying no when you feel it is a big part of that.
To sum things up, being assertive is something people lack nowadays.
Most of us tend to close in on ourselves and rarely be honest about our feelings.
Usually, the intentions behind someone who isn’t assertive are good, but most of the time, we back down on our needs to preserve something or avoid getting into a “fight”.
What happens in reality, though, is that the more we ignore our feelings, the less we value ourselves while giving false impressions to others about who we are at the same time.
Collaboration and communication are the answers for the most if not for every problem we face in our lives, and assertiveness is a trait that makes these processes more manageable.
Everyone wants to live a good and happy life, but to achieve that, we must speak for ourselves, listen to others, and in each other’s shoes.
In every problematic situation, if people sit down and be honest with themselves and what they have in mind and at the same time be willing to cooperate, common grounds will be reached, and everyone wins.
We hope we explained to you the importance of assertiveness well.
That’s what assertiveness is all about in the end, and remember, this trait can also prove to be very helpful in your career, which is a nice bonus to have.
If you would like to learn more about the relationships, check our relationships category page with all our posts.